My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground.
Over the past 3 weeks, I have listened to “Touch the Sky” by Hillsong United more times than I can count. It speaks to my wandering soul and restless spirit. My week spent in Haiti impacted my heart.
I felt free and at peace.
My heart had found its happy place.
Haiti challenged me and broke my expectations of myself. I went into the trip with expectations to grow closer to God and to be challenged by His heart for people.
I did not expect to be sought so deeply by the Creator of the Universe.
I did not expect to feel God’s love in the smile of an orphan.
I did not expect my heart to be shattered by an abandoned baby.
I did not expect the lover of my soul to desire my heart, my dreams, my days.
I did not expect to dream for the impossible.
I did not expect my unfathomable God to speak life to my deepest, truest, and most honest dreams.
I wrestled with my identity, felt drawn to insecurity, and wanted to fill the holes within me. My view of God grew as he continued to burst out of every box that I attempt to put Him in. Looking back, I shouldn’t expect less from a living, loving, saving, sustaining, almighty God, who shapes my heart.
God met me somewhere within the depths of my aspirations, desires, unfulfilled longings and brokenness.
Find me here at Your feet again
Everything I am, reaching out, I surrender
Come sweep me up in Your love again
I felt free.
Free from expectations.
Free from fear.
Free from perfection.
Free from ambition.
Free from failure.
I felt free.
My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
I had to lay down my longings. My desires. My passions. I had to lay down my plans at the feet of the One who shapes my heart. When I laid down my passions, desires and longings.
He gave me an unfathomable peace.
I needed to lay down my life and expectations in order to see what God had in store for me. He showed me glimpses of His heart in the smiles of the orphans and abandoned children. I caught snippets of His presence in Mickey and Liz as they worked to help children with malnutrition. I captured His glory in the sunrise.
God revealed that while I do not have control over my life, or future. He has an amazing journey planned.
I simply have to surrender.
Fearless at Heart 