“It takes time.”
I have heard that so many times and it still frustrates me. I know healing will take time because I am a nurse and human, but I don’t have much patience with myself.
The road to getting better is long and hard. I will become more patient with myself as time goes on, but I don’t have it now. So therapy now is harder than it should be because I don’t have much patience with myself.
I’m lucky! I shouldn’t have made it out of the car wreck. Everyone calls me a miracle, and that is what I am. God must have something for me to do or He must have something planned for me.
It will take time but now is a perfect time to focus on Jesus. I got to a place before the accident that it was just me and Jesus. I trust Him a lot more because I have seen firsthand His mercies. I trusted Him before but this is different. I can see some of what He is capable of which changes what I trust Him with. I know now I can trust Him with anything big or small because He saved me.
Oftentimes, after a tragedy it is common for people to trust God because He is their refuge. There is truth in that. God is my refuge when times get tough. I do not know what I would do without Him. He is my daily strength. Jesus is the only reason I get through the day, and I’m better off than some people.
It is still just me and Jesus. I have lots of people I love around me, but inside my head it is only me and Jesus. Before the accident, I had everything planned out but God had different plans. The time that I could have spent focused on other things will be focused on Jesus and His kingdom.
Inside my head is where I wrestle with God, I yell at Him, and I love Him. Nothing about this situation is fair but if it is only so I become more dependent on Him, it will be worth it. Habits are things you cultivate over time, so this situation will cultivate a dependence on God which is unique.
It gives me a different outlook on God. One that only I have because I’m the one that personally went through it. I have a bigger view of God because I know He can do the impossible.
I can take this time to learn as much as I can about my savior and myself. Focus on Christ and what He has done for me. I need to use this time to focus on what He would like me to do now, and how I can further His kingdom. I want to be more like Him daily.