Embrace the Mess

Motherhood is messy.

In reality, life is messy. It seems to take life right out of you. I know that sounds weird-life takes the life out of you. 

When one is a working mom going to grad school, there is a lot of life that is taken out. I feel like I’ve been in survival mode for the last couple months. With everything going on, I feel like I haven’t had energy for anything else. That’s just the season of life I am in right now. I truly can’t imagine doing anything else. Don’t tell me that I should slow down and stop school because I won’t be happy if I just stopped. I have a goal and my soul isn’t cut out to be a stay at home mom. I admire those who can but I can’t and I have known that forever. Don’t hear what I’m not saying. I love Atlas and want to spend time with him more than anything, but for my well being, I NEED to have an outlet other than being at home.

• Embrace the mess. My house is far from tidy. It’s clean but there is mess and I’m okay with that because a rambunctious toddler and his parents live here. Life is messy and with everything, I’m honestly amazed that I haven’t had a mental breakdown yet. I don’t have energy to make sure everything is tidy, but rather that everyone is clean and happy. I think it was when I decided to embrace the mess that my mental health stabilized. Work is messy, motherhood is messy and I’m just one human. I can’t do everything. Bottom line is that Atlas is happy and safe. I want him to grow up loved and cared for. 
• Cherish the small moments. There is a whole lot of bad in the world, but there is good also. You just need to look closely for it. The weather has been crappy and Atlas has been fussy, but that also means that he has been a little bit more cuddly. The days are long but the years are short. The dishes can wait because my little one needs me to hold him.
• Take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can give and give of yourself till there is nothing left, but then where would you be? You need to prioritize yourself especially if you are a parent or in a giving profession. You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself.
• Embrace the messy emotions. We want everything-even emotions to be clean and tied up with a pretty bow. Honestly, that’s not been my experience with emotions. Emotions are messy and should be messy. We, as humans, need to embrace the messy emotions. We shouldn’t be afraid of being angry, being depressed, being sad and being hurt. The initial emotion is not bad in and of itself but rather the wallowing in the emotions-giving it more and more room. That can lead to sin, but we need to acknowledge the emotions. 

These are just a few thoughts in my head the last couple weeks. Embrace the mess that is life. There is beauty in the chaos. You might be better and calmer because of it.