That’s how long it has been since my life changed. Well, it’s coming up in about a month. It’s a
time that I really could have done without, but I remember it because of God.
I’m alive primarily because of God.
These two years have been challenging and hard-often times seemingly impossible-but God has
held my hand through the fire.
Here are a few things that kinda summarize the past two years.
- There are a few people that climb in the hole and hold you when it’s not their battle to
- fight. Never let those people go.
These people are my people. My family have been through every high and low with me. There have
been some friends that have seen me at my worst and still chose to crawl into the hole with me. They
didn’t try to help me up right off the bat, but they sat with me for a while. Then, they started to help me
up and out of the hole. One of the reasons, I’m where I am today is because of the few people that never
gave up on me.
- God can redeem and repurposed dreams that you thought were lost.
There are some dreams or experiences that got cut short-like working with my best friend-but God has
taken those dreams that I had as a little and grown girl and shaped them into his will. I love little humans
and now I get to love on them both in my job and free time. I wouldn’t change anything because these
littles have wormed their way into my heart. My dreams right now look a lot different now because some
doors have close, but also because my dreams have changed.
- God isn’t afraid of emotion.
For a long time, I felt conflicted. I felt like I couldn’t have doubts about God’s goodness. At the same time,
I didn’t believe God was good or had a good plan for me. I needed to face that emotion-that doubt-and
give it room to breathe so to speak. When I gave myself permission to have those questions and sit with
them, I discovered the ways God has been good to me throughout-giving me people to come alongside
me, getting a job etc. That’s when the most emotional healing happened, because I gave myself
permission to have those doubts. In the end, I fell in love with the person I’m becoming shaped by
- God is love. He oozes it, and it encompasses everything He does.
Love. That’s a had emotion to pin down. Often recently, I’ve heard the argument that if God is love,
why do bad things happen. I was thinking, if God is love then why was 2017 so awful. I don’t know the
answer but this is what I’ve figured out. (This is my opinion based on scripture and my experience so I
would take it with a grain of salt.) God doesn’t cause bad things-hard things-but He walks right beside
us-loving us fiercely through it. I mean, look at Joseph’s life. God didn’t cause him to be sold to the
Egyptians-sin nature caused that, but he orchestrated it to be used in the saving of Egypt and Israel.
- Everyone gets overwhelmed looking at the big picture, so smaller goals are needed.
I think if I realized two years ago that I will never be done with my TBI journey-that I will never not have
a traumatic brain injury-I think I would have fallen into a deeper longer depression. I needed to set my
mind on the simple fact that the most recovery will be done in the first two years. I focused all my energy
on getting better in the first two years. As the two year mark fastly approaches, I’m better able to mentally
wrap my head around the fact that I’ll always deal with this and be recovering.