The Uncertain Yes

Posted on by fearlessatheart

My planner is stuffed full of lists, dates, sticky notes and plans.

I like my life organized, falling into boxes that I can set wherever I want them to go. With my lists and planner, my crazy life fits well into the categories of school, work, friends and church. I am rarely unprepared for what is coming next.

Except for now….

In 23 days, I graduate, leaving the world of tests and papers to enter the adult world. I feel prepared to tackle the new challenges that being a college alumni means, but I do not know what that looks like yet.

I have no plans.

Zero. Zilch.

Surrounded by people who have plans, jobs, apartments or weddings.

Then there is me. I have no plans set in stone. I have ideas of where I want to go and what I want to do with this new adventure in front of me.

Uncertainly, I approach the feet of the God who orchestrates my life.

I lay my ready made plans at His feet. Tattered and worn from being pulled out and constantly reworked to fit my needs, they clatter to the ground.

My hopes. My plans. My dreams. My future.

Trust me.

He whispers as He gathers up my well-organized plans in his arms.

I watch as He takes my dreams and plans and puts them aside.

Trust me. I have a plan for you.

I offer an uncertain yes.

To trust that He has a plan.

To believe that He has my best interests at heart.

To acknowledge that sometimes I do not need to have everything figured out.

To realize that taking this risk and saying yes could be the best decision of my life.

I offer an uncertain yes, trusting that my well-worn plans are safe in the hands of the God who shaped my heart.

As graduation looms in the not-so-distant future, I rest in my uncertainty, acknowledging that I am not the one in the control. I relinquish my right to plan my future, rather I allow my heart to be filled with the One who has the control.

I close my sticky-note covered planner focusing my energy on listening for His voice in the chaos and uncertainty.

Seeking My Savior.

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I met someone.

No, this is not what you think.

This is not one of those romantic-I-fell-in-love-at-first-sight-posts. This is about real: I-see-you-in-the-messiness-of-your-life-and-love-you-still kind of relationship.

To clarify, I am not talking about a person. I am talking about the Creator of the Universe. The God who painted the colors of the sunset, and who drew the freckles on my nose. The One who moved the mountains rock by rock and who designed the intricacies of the human body. The One who continually seeks my heart even when I am difficult.

I met Jesus years ago as a tiny tot, but the relationship has ebbed and flowed over the years. Recently, as I sought him more deeply, I discovered his heart for people and me.

After a hard season, where all my insecurities rose to the top of my soul, God romanced my soul.

He sought me as the lover of my heart and I learned that I was enough.

In my insecurities, in my imperfections, in my anxieties, and in my weariness, I am enough.

I didn’t have to be perfect.  I could just be me with him.

I realized that my insecurities were lies that Satan had pushed to the forefront of my mind to distract me from who I was and where I was going. I allowed him to distract me. I allowed him to feed me the lies that I began to believe about myself and my future.

I allowed him to steal my happiness until God sought me out and reminded me where I belong.

Not today, Satan. Not today.

Somehow, in my distance, God continued to remind me that I am his beloved.

His Beloved.

Those are words that have been spoken over me my entire life.  I know what the words mean in my head, but it has been a struggle to truly know the words as they are written on my heart.

Recently, as I allow the truth of God’s word to diffuse over my soul, He has whispered the words “You are loved” over and over again.

You are loved in your imperfections—because I am perfect.

You are loved in your weakness—because I am strong.

You are loved in your fears—because I am the Prince of Peace.

You are loved in strengths—because I created you in my image.

As I sought my Savior, I allowed the depth and reality of his actions on the cross to remind me of the breath of his love for me.

I do not deserve God’s unwavering love, but I am learning to accept it and allow his opinion to dictate my actions.  Slowly, I am learning not to let my insecurities hold me back from being brave.

Learning to Rest in a Hectic Life.

Posted on by fearlessatheart

Rest.

This a word that most people hate because it eludes the idea of unproductivity.

In the “going…going…gone” mentality of society today, it appears lazy to rest and take time for yourself.

Selfish even.

I have learned though,  that rest is not a bad word, in fact, it is necessary for life.

God rested. Why shouldn’t I?

What is keeping me from taking time out of my busy schedule to refresh my soul? What is stopping me from resting my body and soul from the craziness of school, work etc?

The answer was simple.

Nothing.

I offered up the excuses of “I am too busy.” and “Everything is important.”

But the bottom line is if I do not rest, I get burnt out and then all my hard work being productive is for naught because I crash and burn.

Burnt out, I become a shell of a being striving, but failing to thrive.

This semester, I allowed myself to believe the lies that I was okay. I could handle anything life threw at me.

I could not.

Unconsciously, I stressed myself with needing to be everything to everybody, and the people closest to me receive the brunt of my jaded sarcasm because I was not caring for myself well.

I was growing and being challenged by God, but I was not allowing time for my soul to relax and truly absorb all the wise and wonderful things He was teaching me.

This past week, I choose rest.

I chose sleep.

I chose to soak in the sun.

I chose to vacate my life for a week and refresh my soul, allowing God and inspiring friends to pour into my soul.

Rested, I am more productive and energized because I am not stressed out and sleep deprived.

Scheduling in rest periods or Sabbath time will not be easy as graduation looms closer, but the practice of taking time out of my daily or weekly schedule to remind myself that I am valued, loved and cherished by the Creator of the Universe will benefit me in the long run.

By taking time out of my week, I remind myself that my identity is not found in all that I can accomplish.

The catch to taking a Sabbath is that the time that I devote to checking items of a list needs to be effective and useful. If not, I get stuck in the rest/rush cycle that is just as exhausting as working around the clock.

Rested and refreshed, I am prepared to hit the ground running through the home stretch and graduation with the reminder that I need to continue to find time to sit at the feet of the Creator.

Theology of Place.

Posted on by fearlessatheart

Sometimes, I get hit with the travel bug, simply watching airplanes fly by and wishing I was going somewhere.

Anywhere but here, I think.

I become discontent with where I am, not valuing the community God has placed me in.

Wishing for more.

Frustrated, I challenge God over the need to stay here.

I argue with God over the logical nature of putting in roots, desiring to be a wanderer, not a stationary figure.

God challenges me back.

What is so wrong with staying put for the time being? What is wrong with putting down roots and allowing people to know you? Truly know the Sara I created you to be.

When life has been a variety of hellos and goodbyes, I become use to the ideas of moving on.

I settled into to the idea of creating space for new adventures and possibilities, as my spiritual formation has been shaped by lush green springs, the grey, rainy days, the vast deserts in Africa, the blue-green oceans in Haiti and the magnificent mountains in Montana.

God has met me in so many places in the reality of my nomadic past.

Recently, the idea of a theology of place has challenged my nomadic desires of traveling the world.

Staying is even more terrifying than going.

It means knuckling down and doing the nitty-gritty acts of life with a community. It means sharing more than a piece of your story with the people you end up doing life with. It means daring to be known as the incredible imperfect mosaic of heartache and blessings that I am. It means unfurling my clenched hands and accepting myself. It means bravely deciding to stay put, when my heart knows it would be easier to go—to leave all I know for the unknown.

“Staying put and daring to be known, engaging in life with people just as imperfect and weird as me, staying through the seasons as they come and go is changing me to be more like the Jesus I love so wildly. It’s a different kind of fearlessness, the fearlessness of engaging in community—slowly and steadily and wholeheartedly. Real, hard conversations usually only come after a lot of surface conversations”.

Sarah Bessey

Staying put requires a fearlessness that says “I value this community more than I desire to be comfortable”. It says, “I choose you. I choose to be invested where I am instead of actively pursuing the need to be anywhere but here”. Staying allows us to embody the Gospel in our conversations, prayers in the living room, watching families grow, of friendship deepened by doing life together, and of choosing to invest in people’s lives.

Staying allows us to take off our masks and grow closer to God as we pursue the people who love us the most.

Getting to this place of accepting the importance of staying challenged me to change my attitude as I bravely decide that choosing to stay was more important than my desire to flee.

When life gets challenging or difficult, my impulse is to flee.

God continually reminds me that sometimes the greatest things happen when I allow the radical act of staying to shape my soul.

There is incredible freedom in allowing the holy work of staying to remind me that I need people and community to be a successful human being.

People who will ask me the hard questions and truly listen to my trials and victories.

The beauty in choosing to stay put is that I continually find Jesus reminding me that He will be my strength when the staying gets tough and the impulse to run is driving my emotions.

Sometimes, the act of staying is just as important as the act of going into the world.

Cancer is a Word.

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“Cancer is a word, not a sentence” James Diamon

Approximately 4 years ago, my grandma was diagnosed with liver cancer. At the time of her diagnosis, the doctors gave her six months to a year to live.

My grandma was spunky and tough.

She fought. Hard.

Audaciously. She tackled her cancer diagnosis head on and continued to live her life.

She decided to give those cancer cells a run for their money. She endured chemo treatments, multiple tests, drugs and surgery. She remained strong through all of it. She still made it the many hundreds of miles to my graduation. She put on a good face when around people.

She lived each moment in the moment because she did not know when God would take her away.

She inspired me with her commitment to thanking God for the blessings in her life, not the trials that could bring down her spirit.

She fought the good fight. On December 13th, 2014, she passed away.

A small aspect of the world wept because a beautiful soul left this earth.

She inspired me, because continually trusted God through all of the pain, all of the worry, and all of the trials. She never wavered because she trusted that God knew what He was doing that he had a plan.

God’s plan was not for cancer, illness and pain to exist. Our sin brought on this imperfect world.

The reality of going through pain on earth is that we can look toward Heaven. This world is hard, challenging, and painful.

But Heaven will be glorious.

Worshipping Jesus day in and day out.

My grandma did not fear death because it was leading her to her Creator. Needless to say, it was not any less painful to watch her go.

A year or so later, I still miss her. I graduate Nursing school in May, and she will not be in the audience beaming with pride.

The grief pierces my heart in some of the happiest moments because

I am following in her footsteps, pursuing a career in Nursing, and I wish that she could see me accomplish all that I have.

The grief hits me in waves. Sometimes I will never be the same because a piece of my heart left for heaven the day she passed away.

The reality of cancer is hard and it affects so many people.

As today is World Cancer Day, let us remember the people we lost in this battle, and pray for the people who are currently fighting cancer.

Keep praying that scientist will discover a cure that will help eliminate the problem of cancer in our world.

I will forever remember the brave and amazing woman who fought cancer  for 3 years strength and grace.

I miss you, Grandma.

“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”  Muhammad Ali

Living and Breathing Audaciously.

Posted on by fearlessatheart

My word of the year is audacious because it encompasses the idea of living both brave and free.

Audacious (adj.) means showing a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks; extremely bold or daring; recklessly brave; fearless; lively; unrestrained; uninhibited.

Recklessly brave.

Uninhibited.

Fearless.

Surprisingly bold risks.

Willingness.

These are the words that I want to define my year.

These are the words that I want to shape my thinking as I graduate and step out into the adult world.

AUDACIOUS.

That word holds so much because it challenges me to stop living in fear and to embrace the calling on my life.

I am not audacious. I lack courage. I shrink from things that God calls me to because I fear failure.

This year, I am turning over a new leaf. I choose to be recklessly brave in the pursuit of a living, loving, saving, sustaining, almighty God who shapes my heart.

I desire to be bold; sharing the gospel from my backyard to the ends of the earth.

I aspire to be gutsy; challenging myself to do things that make me uncomfortable.

I strive to be brave; living life with everything that I have.

Today, I choose to be audacious in my intentionality: talking to that person whom I do not particularly like.

Audacious in my spirituality; choosing to surrender those parts of myself that I hide from God because I think they are insignificant, or simply because I do not want to give up.

Fearless in the face of big decisions; choosing to listen to God’s leading as He directs my path through the unknown future.

Willing to step out in faith, even when the outcome requires messing up the comfortable life I am used to. Most of what I am called to does not come from being comfortable and safe.

Uninhibited by the desire to be someone else or to do something else, choosing instead to embrace where God has placed me.

I do not take to being brave, bold and fearless naturally.

My default setting is fear, even though God has proven himself more than capable of eradicating my fear with a single promise.

There is no formula to being audacious, brave and free.

It is an organic journey that requires me to trust in the One who moved mountains and parted seas.

Audacious because the One who called me to this journey set me exactly where he placed me.

Audacious because I follow a living, loving, saving, sustaining, almighty God.

Audacious because how else could I respond to the grace He extended as He took the nails for my sin?

16 Things I Desire for 2016

Posted on by fearlessatheart

A new year brings a new beginning and a fresh start. As this New Year begins, I am starting to think about what I want for this New Year. What do I want this year to be about?  As I prayed about what I want for this year, two words came to mind: Brave and Freedom. These words have played a part in my journey during this past year, and I believe they have a role to play in the year coming up. I made a list of things that desire for the year ahead as I incorporate these words into my life. I am not talking about New Year’s Resolutions, we tend to think that we will not complete our resolutions. They are normally just stated to help us feel good about our plans for the New Year. The idea behind what I want out of this year is growth and adventure. I want these items to contribute to how I interact with others and God.

  1. Cross at least one item off of my bucket list.

Life is meant for good friends and great adventures. The adventures of this new year comes from taking chances, stepping out of my comfort zone. In the spirit of being brave, I desire to take new adventures and check things off of my bucket list. Sometimes you have to allow yourself to pursue the things that you want, even if it just to say you did.

  1. Make new friends and deepen friendships.

2015 overflowed with new friendships, and I want 2016 to expand those relationships and make new friends throughout my adventures.  Charles Swindoll writes, “I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun”.  I do not know where I would be without the amazing friends I have and the ones I made this year. There is a moment when you meet someone and something clicks. You become friends, and they impact your life in ways you never thought of. This year I strive to be more vulnerable with the friends in my life. Inviting the people I love into my heart and life.

  1. Be brave.

This appears general, but this word brave has been a theme for my senior year, and I want to continue to strive to step out in faith, being brave in the life God has given me. Brave (adj.) is defined as ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage. This is who I want to be. I want to be a brave and audacious woman who embraces life regardless of any fear. This does not mean I will never fear hard situations or trials, but I will approach the situation with courage and grace.

  1. Embrace the life of freedom I have been given.

As a child of God, I have been given freedom. I am no longer a slave to fear, perfection, and insecurity. I can embrace life with an attitude of freedom because Christ had given me life. Freedom from fear and insecurity is something that I have been wrestling with over the past year. This year, I am choosing to live in that freedom and embrace the Creator of the Universe.

  1. Learn to make each moment, good or bad, count.

The thing about living a brave and free life is that I want to make every moment count. I do not want to look back on this year and regret the passed moments and missed opportunities. I desire to look back on my year and say, “Wow. What a year!” because of the relationships I made and the moments that I allowed myself to live, I mean, truly live. I want to live life to the fullest, as I take step out of my shadow and be brave with my decisions.

  1. Be intentional with the people in my life.

As I deepen my relationships, I desire to be intentional with the girls on my floor, my RA staff. I want to reach out to the people around me. As I am intentional with my conversations, I can invest in people’s lives. At the end of the day, accomplishments are amazing, and material possessions are nice, but relationships are the only things that we can take with us to Heaven. People matter.

  1. Spend more time discovering who God is.

This new year is a new opportunity to spend time discovering the Creator of the Universe and me. My relationship with God is the most important relationship in my life. I desire to spend more time intentionally getting to know God and allowing him to love me. To love the places in my heart where my deepest insecurities and hopes lie.  Beth Moore writes, “May God remind us daily—no matter what kind of obstacles we face—that we are loved and empowered by the One who brought the universe into existence with the mere sound of His voice. Nothing is impossible for Him”.  As I get to know God and delve into His word, He continues to love and empower me. He pushes me out of my comfort zone into places that I never thought about, but that are so incredibly better than I could have planned.

  1. Figure out what makes me tick, what I feel passionate about and delve further into it.

As I bravely and vulnerably surrender my time to Lord, He begins to show me glimpses of the woman he created me to be. I bravely try new things, develop new habits as I discover new interests. As I celebrate my twenties, I desire to use my time this year to discover new passions and bravely explore the place these passions interact with my life. Whether it is volunteering at a free clinic, helping with an afterschool program, or raising money for a cause halfway across the world, I desire for this year to be a defining year of me interacting with the lesser known passions and desires in my heart.

  1. Cry unashamedly.

Crying signifies vulnerability, and I hate being vulnerable, truly vulnerable. This year, as I bravely become more vulnerable with the people around me, I give myself the freedom to cry. Not emotionally crying all the time, but to cry when I need to cry without being ashamed of tears. Sometimes, being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall.

  1. Worry less about what people think.

I have tendency to be reserved and cautious because I am afraid of what others think of me. I selfishly think that they care about every little thing I do. The reality is that as I live in freedom I shake off the perceptions of other and the expectations I place on myself. The only expectations that matter are God’s.

  1. Do one random act of kindness each month

Kindness puts a smile on others faces. It is as simple as that.

  1. Complain less.

Complaining is being ungrateful for what God has given me, as well as it can drive people away. It can taint the personality. I do not want to be known for complaining about things that I cannot do anything about.

  1. Step out of my comfort zone.

This is one of the biggest things that I want to focus on changing about my life. I find that some of the most rewarding moments of my life happen when I step over that line into areas where I am unsure. I have to rely totally on God, and guess what? He always comes through with a life-changing experiences as I learn more about myself and my abilities with God by my side. We walk hand in hand as he guides me through life.

  1. Continue to dream big.

This new year is a big year, I graduate Nursing school and have to figure out what I want to do. I have dreams about travelling, marriage, the perfect job. The idea is that these dreams are held loosely, but I still need to dream. I still need to allow myself to dream of the impossible, because my God is big enough to do anything. I should not put him in a box as I try to tell him the path that I want for my life.

  1. Embrace and enjoy the little things of life.

The small moments matter. The smiles. The breezes. The quiet. These little moments like holding hands, reading a book for fun, the reassurance that I am heading on the right path. These moments are not flashy moments, but rather they creep up into your life. You can miss the significance of the moments, if you are not paying attention.

  1. Accept myself.

I am pretty, smart, awkward, quirky, organized, vivacious, entertaining, outspoken, and introverted. I am fiercely loyal to my friends. I have an obsession with colored pens and planners. I love reading. I am learning to accept myself exactly as God created me quirks and all.

Trusting In The One Who Holds My Dreams.

Posted on by fearlessatheart

Trust and Faith. These words radiate through my journal entries over the past couple of weeks. This past semester has been a journey of learning to hold my dreams loosely as I hold tightly to the One who first instilled the dreams in my soul.

Almost 10 years ago, I left the country that I considered home. I moved across the world to a country that should be home, but felt hollow. I left my heart behind.  

Confused, I wrestled with accepting this new change. How could I be more comfortable in a foreign country than the country of my birth? Moving “home” should have been exciting, but I felt numb.

Confusion. Excitement. Frustration. Betrayal.

These emotions clouded my vision of America, and encouraged my desire to travel the world. Somehow, I felt that if I travelled, I would find that piece of my heart that I had left behind and I would be whole again.

Approximately 4 years ago, as I started on my college adventure, I made it my goal to graduate and leave the country for the great beyonds. I desired to move somewhere I would be interacting with people of different cultures and backgrounds.

I chose my major and minor with the intent that going overseas was my only goal.

These past couple weeks as I began to think about my future and the reality of my dreams, I realized that my dreams had changed slightly.

I had fallen more and more in love with the idea of going overseas and changing the world, but God convicted me.

Why?

Why did I desire to go overseas? Was it because I was trusting God’s plan for my life, or was it because I was more comfortable with dirt floors and no electricity?
If I truly analyzed my motives, I would find that my reasons were selfish.

In my heart, deep, deep down, I believed that if I was not going to fit in anywhere, it would be easier to live in a different culture because then my differences would be as obvious as skin color.

Selfish reasons regardless of the fact that the outcome was others-focused.

Something was changing within me. There are no words to convey how profoundly and deeply God touched my heart as I began to realize this truth.

Why?

As I searched for the answer to this question in my heart, God continued to remind me of the beautiful aspects of life where I am.

>>The beautiful Ohio sunsets.

>>The rain as it falls on a spring afternoon.

>>The vibrant colors as fall creeps in.

>>The sound of my residents laughing down the hall.

>>The thud of textbooks as I breathe a sigh of relief after a nursing test.

>>The companionship of friends

What if by dreaming big, I am putting God in a box? What if I am narrowing my view of God and life to only being happy in the mission field? What if God is asking me open my mind to different chapters in my life, not all of which includes overseas missions?

Four years ago, possibly even last year, that thought would have stunned me. I would not have considered any aspect of life but the one that took me far away to unknown people groups. Now, I am learning that my limited view of God and his plan for my life caused me to miss out on some pretty great things about life in America. I was so focused on going “home” that I lost track of the fact that America is also my home. Ten years later, God takes the emotions that used to cloud my vision of America transforming them with the grace radiating from the center of who He is.

Excitement. Joy. Gratitude. Serenity.

God transformed my view of both him and the world as I began to be content where He has placed me.

Throughout the past semester, my view of God grew as He continued to burst out of every box that I attempted to put Him in. Looking back, I should not expect less from a living, loving, saving, sustaining, almighty God who shapes my heart. He placed these desires in my heart for a specific reason, but it may not look exactly as I desire it to.

As I consider the idea that God is challenging me to step out of my comfort zone and live in America after I graduate, He places a new call in my heart.

I will follow you.

Where you go, I’ll go.

Where you stay, I’ll stay.

If this life I lose, I will follow you.

God is present here, just as much as in Haiti or Nigeria. Therefore, my call is to follow God as he moves in my heart and in the lives of those around me.
A year from now, I do not know where I will be.  Maybe I will be in Africa, South America, Montana, or Ohio.

I do not know where I am leading but I am realizing that God comes first.

Not my plans. Not my dreams. Not my desires.

Rather by letting go of these dreams, it frees up a hand which fits perfectly into the hand of the One who consistently show us how big He truly is.

Simply follow God first.

Everything else falls into place.

In the words of Sarah Bessey, “And this is where I learned that sometimes our most holy mountain-moving faith looks more like spending our whole lives making that mountain move, rock by rock, pebble by pebble, unsexy day after daily day, casting the mountain to the sea stone by stone rather than watching a mountain suddenly rise up and cast itself.”

Sometimes, the biggest blessings come not from restricting God to a specific dream, but by letting go of those dreams to hold on to the hand of the Creator of the Universe.

Your Will Done Your Way

Posted on by fearlessatheart

“God surpasses our dreams when we reach past our personal plans and agenda to grab the hand of Christ and walk the path he chose for us. He is obligated to keep us dissatisfied until we come to him and his plan for complete satisfaction.”
― Beth Moore

It is so easy to try and do things my way.

The most common questions I get asked these days are “What are you doing after graduation?” or “Are you in a relationships?”

These questions challenge me to think about what I am doing? Where I am going?

But, in reality, it is not about me.

It is about God.

What is God’s will for my life? Maybe you don’t believe that God has a specific will for my life.

I have no idea where I am going after graduation, or what I am even going to do this year?

I have no plans.

That is terrifying…..

And exciting.

This past weekend, I had a lot of time to think. I drove 6 hours to a conference by myself. Most people were shocked that I would drive that far by myself, but it was amazing to simply be still and think about my future.

My questions were not answered. I do not have any more clarity than I did a week ago.

I have a general idea where I would like to end up doing, but I have no clue what the next step is. For some reason though, I do not need to know. I felt a peace.

I knew deep down that God, the author of my dreams and desires, would be able to organize my life. My job is to simply take the next right step, whatever that may be.

Your Will Done Your Way.

I can’t seem to get these words out of my head. I tend to feel more anxious when I try to follow my way.

My Will Done My Way.

That is often the way I want to run things. The problem is that things often go COMPLETELY wrong!

Somehow, I think I am going in the right direction or doing things the right way, but often I find that my way is not working.

Your Will Done Your Way.

There is a lot of unknowns this year such as jobs, preceptorships, and life. But the awesome thing, is that no matter what I do, God has got it.

Sometimes, we think that if we give God our desires, passions, and wants, then he will trick us and give us something we don’t want.

That is the opposite of what he does.

He places passions, gifts and talents in my hearts and lives for a specific purpose.

He CREATED us for a specific purpose.

He may reveal his will for my lives in small amounts, and it may not look different than I initially plan it to be.

Ultimately, his plan is infinitely greater than anything that I could dream up.

I mean, he is the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE!

“It is about the greatness of God, not the significance of man. God made man small and the universe big to say something about himself.”
— John Piper

5 things I have learned from being a Resident Adviser

Posted on by fearlessatheart
  1. Life is bigger than just me.

I interact with people all the time as a student and resident adviser. When my life gets stressful, it is easy to think that I am the only one with these problems, but as I talk to my girls, or other girls in the building, I find that I am one of many. We all have the same stresses, and the same struggles. My life and problems are small in the scheme of things. Being an RA taught me that sometimes, I have to look past my struggles and share in someone else’s joy or happiness.

  1. I cannot do it alone.

Community is not simply a buzzword; it is a way of life. Try as I might, I cannot constantly go. I cannot be a good student, remember everyone’s birthday, plan events, and enjoy college. I learned how to ask for help, when I could not connect with a girl, or when I kept forgetting to celebrate people’s birthdays. Being an RA or nurse or student is not you against the world. It is a collaborative effort to allow all to succeed.

  1. Late night conversations are vital, and should be encouraged.

Some of the best conversations happened at 1 am, 2 am, or even 3 am. These conversations were unplanned and important. Sometimes the conversations were silly or serious. They were important and help me grow and be challenged in my faith. Wrestling with ideas and sharing thoughts is one of the best ways to practice the art of listening to others opinions and sharing yours.

  1. Programs don’t matter, people do.

In life, we will plan events and parties. It is easy to believe that bible studies or programs are unsuccessful based on the low number of people that attend. As a senior RA, having a low number of people can be disappointing, but the people who attend still matter. Having only a few people can end up being a good thing because you can have deep conversations with those present. It is a blessing because

  1. Love can be shown in many different ways.

People have different love languages. My love language is words of affirmation so I wrote a lot of notes to the girls on my floor. It took me a while to figure out that some of them did not appreciate the notes, but preferred face to face conversation. I had to figure out what each girls love language was, and how to reach out to them. I wanted to be an encouragement to the girls on my floor, and show them love.