Follow Me.

Recently, I was studying Mark 1.  In this section, Jesus is calling the fishermen to be his disciples. Mark 1:17 states, “ Then Jesus said to them, ‘Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” It struck me because God’s simple command is to follow him, right here, right now. I think we make it complicated in our romanticizing of missions and “going”. We figure if you receive “the call”, you have to be going somewhere exotic to tell people about Jesus. That aspect of the call is honest more exciting, but what about the community you are placed in? The people in your scope of influence? Don’t they need Jesus also? Why are they seemingly sidelined in the hopes of the more extraordinary option of going to say Africa and “saving” people?

I’m guilty of this-oh so guilty.

Growing up, my life was missions so I glorified it in my own mind. I wouldn’t have ever said that I glorified the nomadic lifestyle of living and loving people different than me in a different culture, but I think the fact that I choose nursing because it was the quickest way to get me out of America speaks for itself. I thought God could use me better in Africa or South America. In saying that, don’t hear what I’m not saying. I’m not saying that overseas missions isn’t important. I’m saying be careful about glorifying overseas missions in your own heart and loving on littles in a different country when you would overlook them if they were in your own city. I’m saying the people in Mansfield are hurting and need Jesus just as much as the people in Abuja, Nigeria.

I really had to wrestle with that because, after my accident, I really believed God took overseas missions off the table. I was mad at God because it wasn’t like my plans were wrong-they were glorifying God. I shook my fists at God, thinking and shouting, “Why? My goal was to make your name known.”  Last year, I had the opportunity to go to Ukraine and this past spring, I went to the Dominican Republic. Those were neat opportunities, but through them, I realized that I’m content right here, right now. God was changing my heart to follow Him not a dream of overseas missions. I don’t know when it happened, but God was changing my heart to see that the people here need to know the love of Jesus-that they are more loved than they would ever know-just as much if not more than the littles in Africa.

Maybe cross-cultural missions long-term is still in my future someday-I truly hope it is deep down-but right now, I truly am okay here. I never thought I would hear myself say that, but in the depths of my soul, I truly am content being here-right here-and loving the people God brings into my life. The occasional trip to the Dominican or wherever God leads is food for my soul, but this is my corner of the world right now.    God is doing big things in little Mansfield, Ohio and He’s simply asking me to “Follow Him.” So if you need me, I’ll be here, in my corner of the world, simply loving people as Jesus would.

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School Nursing: It’s all about the ice pack

This is coming on the end of my second year as a school nurse and oh what a year!

Here are a few things I learned in two years of being a school nurse.

  • Ice packs fix almost anything.

I didn’t believe this but it’s true. Ice packs seem to be a magic fix. I think what it boils down to is the littles just need to feel like something is being done and what better way than to put ice on it.

  • Care is holistic. I’m not just there to fix upset stomachs, but to help in other areas.

Physical needs are a priority, but emotional and spiritual needs are also important. All aspects are interconnected. If a little is upset about something at home, more chances than not, I’ll probably see them sometime that day with an upset stomach. Sometimes all they need is a hug and to know that someone cares. The key is time. If I perceive that they need a little TLC and have time to give them, I often give it to them with regards to the teachers’ schedule.

  • Littles say the bluntest, sweetest things.

They have no reservations when it comes to asking things. I had one little ask me if I was married. I said no. She asked if I was planning ongetting married. I responded with, “that’s the plan eventually”. Her response was, “Tomorrow?” I just internally laughed because she asked it with such a straight face. They’re not afraid to say it like it is. They are also not ones to mince compliments so if they say “you’re the best “, they mean it.

  • Sometimes, seasons are designed to push you but also let you heal.

This season came when I needed it the most. It allowed me to take the focus off myself and my problems for a while. I may not have been able to fix my TBI on a grand scale but a littles stomachache or headache while workingon myself in different areas. I grew in SO many areas these past two years. It definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone-in that it was like nothing I’ve ever done but it was also comfortable in that it was at my alma mater.

  • Just because it’s not what you pictured yourself doing doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.

At the beginning of the school year, I sat in my office hearing all the hopeful voices and I felt deep down in my spirit that this was where I was meant to be but it was nothing like I pictured 2 years ago. This was the perfect job for right now because it allowed me to still practice nursing without all the stimulus and fast pace of hospital nursing. It gave me lots of little success that boosted my self-esteem.

  • Never underestimate the power of a smile and listening ear.

Half the time, littles are in my office for a minor time but they just need to know someone is listening and cares. I treat their pressing ailment and send them back to class with the option that if they can’t do it, they can come back to the clinic. Often knowing they have that option reassures them, and they are good for the day.

  • Littles give the best hugs.

I definitely think in this season of my life I needed to hear that I’m needed and wanted. After something traumatic happens, you start to doubt yourself and wonder if you’re still a valuable member of society. Being at MCS showed me that I’m still valued as a human being and nurse. Recently, I saw a little outside of school, and she smiled shyly and waved. My heart simply melts every time I hear a little voice say “Miss Walthour”, see those bashful smiles, or receive those timid hugs.

Yes, it’s definitely not as fast paced as hospital nursing, but just as impactful on lives.

25

25.

A quarter of a century.

How am I going to be that old? Sometimes, I still feel like that awkward 12-year-old changing cultures and continents. But, I’ve become comfortable in who I am and who God made me to be-quirks and all.

Here are 25 things I’ve learned in almost 25 years in this big world.

 

  • Be yourself. Those who care, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t care.

 

This took me YEARS to figure out, but it’s so true. Just simply be yourself.

 

  • My heart has space for multiple countries.

 

Every time I travel somewhere new, I fall in love. My soul falls in love with undiscovered places so fast. Each place is no better or worse than the last, but they all have a unique story and journey.

 

  • Sometimes, you need to simply need to put yourself first and rediscover God in the wilderness.

 

This may seem like common sense but awfully hard to put into practice. I was in a relationship and it ended. I blamed him, but I have since realized, I didn’t have the energy to heal myself and support him. Also, I shouldn’t have expected someone else to like me if I didn’t really even like myself. After it ended, my dad (the wisest man I know) encouraged me to take a break from dating and put my energy into myself.

BEST DECISION EVER.

I labeled last year, “The Year of Me and Jesus”. I choose to put my energy into becoming the most whole “Sara” I could be and figuring who “Sara” even was. This year, I’m better able to be a good (definitely not perfect) girlfriend.

 

  • No matter how bad it gets, you can rest in the simple fact that you have a Father who loves you more than you can ever know.
  • Nothing is ever so bad that a well-timed dance party can’t bring a smile to your face.
  • God can take the seemingly endless tragedy and turn it into a tool to bring him glory. He uses the whole of the story.

 

I really should stop being surprised by God how He uses our messes if we let Him.

 

  • There is no such thing as coincidence, only God.
  • You’ll regret more of the things you didn’t do than the things you did.

 

Moral of the story, if there is even a question, be brave (don’t let fear hold you back) and do that thing you are scared of.

 

  • Do not plan your life out according to a time table. You never know when life will throw a curve ball at you.

 

Make a plan, but hold it loosely because you never know what could happen.

 

  • Every person-those put in your life and taken out of it-has a purpose.
  • Comparison is the thief of joy.
  • Make each moment matter-be present-cause you never know how many you have left.
  • People matter.
  • Talk to random people in social settings. This will make you well-rounded, and chances are good you’ll make a new friend, too.
  • It’s better to put your energy into a few things than to spread yourself too thin trying to do everything.
  • It’s okay-healthy even-to say “no”.

 

A well placed “no” is just as important as a “yes”. You aren’t superwomen and you can’t do everything.

 

  • Your life isn’t defined by your vocation.

 

Your job may be your calling, or it may not be. Either way, what you do doesn’t define who you are.

 

  • Self-care isn’t selfish.

It may-scratch that-it will look different in every season. Nevertheless, you need to take time for yourself.

  • Life is more about the journey as opposed to the destination.
  • Who you were at 20 doesn’t define who you are at 25. Your mentality changes as you explore more of life.
  • NEVER stop learning.
  • Self-awareness is underrated and undervalued as a skill.
  • Some people will bring out the worst in you. Some the best. And others, the most. Hold on tightly to the ones who bring out the most because they are special.
  • You become who you surround yourself with.
  • Just because you don’t talk every day, it doesn’t mean you’re not important to them.

 

You are going to have friends that are in different stages. Carve out time for them, but don’t get upset if you go days without talking. The best friends can go days without talking and pick up exactly where they left off.

Anchors and Roots

This idea of roots has been a topic of thought for years. Growing up, the idea of putting down roots was appealing. I was jealous of my friends who had lived in the same house, the same city, and with the same people.

The idea of staying in the same place was comforting (in theory).

The idea of staying vs. going has been a constant thought in my head. I argue with God over the logical nature of putting in roots, desiring to be a wanderer, not a stationary figure.

God challenges me back.

What is so wrong with staying put for the time being? What is wrong with putting down roots and allowing people to know you? Truly know the Sara I created you to be.

This is my corner of the world right here, right now

Recently, I wrestled with the idea of putting down roots here, because it seemed scary. I then discovered the idea of anchors.

Sailors use anchors to keep them in one location for the time being and then when they’re done, they pull up anchor and move on.

That’s a lot less scary than the idea of roots. I choose “anchor” as my word for the year. So far, I’m thriving is putting my anchor down here.

  • I’m loving my small group girls and enjoying watching them grow into the women God created them to be.
  • The little humans at school fill my happiness bucket with their soft smiles and energetic hugs.
  • The Starbucks Barista knows my name and my typical order.  

A friend and I were talking the other day about roots, and we realized that we put roots into people rather than places. I realized that was true in my life. After my accident, I had no problem remembering people, but places where a little fuzzy or not there at all. I was thinking about that.

What if I put roots into people and anchors into places?

That’s an interesting thought. You leave places, but people are just a phone call away. These a few people like my family that whenever they call, I drop everything and pick up the phone and I know they would do the same.

So here I am, figuring out how to put my anchor down in Mansfield. Here I am. Figuring how to put roots into my family, my boyfriend and my close friends. Here’s me, living my best life right here, right now and seeing  God move in big and small ways.

Your Will, Your Way

“You have come so far. You have learned to let go of what was not good for you. You have learned to step out of the boundaries of your worries, believing that in time, it all would be woven together beautifully. It has not been an easy road, but it has opened your eyes to all of the possibilities of what this life could be, even in your uncertainty.”
-MHN

Graduating from college, I had a plan for my life. A typical conversation between God and I consisted of me telling Him what I wanted His will to be for my life ranging from who I wanted to date and potentially marry to where I wanted Him to call me. It was His will, my way. That didn’t quite work out for me. 29 months ago, my world was turned upside down. My life plan completely changed…

Shortly after my accident, I was thankful God saved my life, but I couldn’t see how this life could possibly be good. I fought with God on how this life could possibly be His will. Those were some dark days, but GOD, in His mercy, used the messiness of my story in Ukraine. Then, looking back, I could see how He has redeemed my story for His glory.

More recently, I was amazed again by how God loves each and every one of us. (I really should stop being amazed by how God uses the worst time if my life for his glory.) One of the students at the school received a brain injury when he was little. I was giving him his medication, and I just offhandedly mentioned that I take the same medication that he does. I received a message for his mom saying that she thinks he finally realized that he’s not alone.

I was blown away by God.

God didn’t cause my accident, but He loved that boy enough to place me at the school to help him not feel alone. When I look back on the last 29 months, I can see a lot of those “coincidences” or “God moments”.

Given the multitude of “God moments” recently, I have realized that my story isn’t over.  I was ecstatic about anchoring myself to Mansfield, my family, my boyfriend, and my friends.

Then, the Dominican Republic happened.

I felt, more than once, confirmation of the fact that missions are in my life plan in some capacity. I mean, I got to stitch up a goat. Besides the fact that I got to stitch up a goat, which is a first for me, I used my right hand. My right hand is the hand I still have trouble with, but it was further confirmation that my story is far from over. My nurse life is far from over.

As I’m processing this, I don’t know that God would have moved so swiftly in getting me an opportunity for a medical/surgical fellowship at OhioHealth here if he intended me to move to the DR. Also, God is a good father, so he wouldn’t have given me confirmation of my dream of overseas missions if He didn’t intend that to be part of my story.

So here I am, learning to hold my plans loosely and trusting that the One who holds my heart has plans to honor the dreams He has instilled in my heart. Here I am, learning to anchor myself to the people that mean a lot to me right here. Here’s to me, striving and thriving, as I learn to live life with God in the drivers seat-His Will, His Way.

A Year Full of Expectation

I chose expectation as my word for this year. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I chose this word.

Man, was I unprepared for what God had in store for me this year!

Here are a few things that I learned from this year full of expectation:

  • God doesn’t like to stay in the boxes we tend to put Him in.

This has been a lesson I seem to learn time and time again. I try to put God in a box of what I think He can accomplish or how I think He’ll heal me. Time and time again this year, I put God in a box, and time and time again, He burst out of the box doing more than I ever imagined. I sent out letters for Ukraine and within week…WEEKS…I was fully funded due to generous people. I didn’t expect to fall in love but I did. Ukraine wormed its way into my heart within minutes of touching ground. I finally got content with being in my corner of the world, and God put hospital nursing back on the table. Through an unintentional interview, it was like God was saying “Your story is not over yet.”

  • Bravery and expectation go hand in hand.

Living with expectation takes a lot of bravery. I mean, if you expect God to move, you have to say the next brave “yes”. You can’t expect to sit on your butt and wait-just wait-for God to do something. Living with expectation means listening to God and saying the next brave “yes” that falls in front of you. It means making plans, but holding them loosely as you expect God to move in them.

  • Rest is not selfish. It enables you to be your best self later in the week.

Rest. Self-care. In some circles, these words make people cringe. Honestly, 2 years ago, they would have made me cringe. It wasn’t until I was literally forced to slow down that I realized how necessary it is. My energy is like an opaque coin jar. I keep taking change out of it not realizing I’m close to the bottom until I hit a wall, get a TBI headache and I’m put out of commission for 24 hours. I hate it. I hate that I can’t do everything. I hate that I seemed to need more rest than an average 24 year old. I realized something this year. If I plan time into my schedule for rest, it doesn’t feel unproductive or a waste of time. Over time, my mentality changed because I didn’t view it as selfish rather I viewed it as necessary for me to be my best self. I couldn’t help the littles feel better if I was at the end of my rope.

  • My story isn’t over yet. Your story isn’t over yet.

I don’t know where you are or where your story has taken you. You may be reading this and you are on a mountaintop. God has never felt closer, and life is perfect. I’m happy for you. Cling to that feeling. Soak it in, and capture it to remember in the hard times. On the other hand, you may be reading this thinking “What has she got that I haven’t? Why is life so hard right now? Why is God so far away? Is God even good?” Don’t…and I mean don’t be ashamed of those questions. They are real. I’ve been there. All I can say is try and remember the mountaintop experiences. It may not seem like it but that God is the same God in the valley. This is why reading the Psalms is good-oh so good. David lamented about where He was but he always said “remember when…” You may feel like your story is over. I’ve felt that way many of times in the past two years, but GOD. He has redeemed what I thought was lost, and put my mind and my heart back together. 3 years ago, I begrudgingly settled for Akron, OH when I really wanted the ends of the earth, 2 years ago, I had no choice in moving back to Mansfield, OH. Today, I am realizing that God is up to something at MCS and in Mansfield. I am honored to be a witness to what God is up to.

This has been quite a journey, and I’m not there-wherever there is-yet. Thanks for walking this journey with me. This has been a year full of expectation. I started out the year hopeful, but depressingly realistic of where I was. I end the year overwhelmed with how God has blown those seemingly realistic thoughts of who I would be out of the water.

Surrendering Graciously

Surrendering graciously.

That’s an oxymoron in my life. Often when God asks me to surrender things, I give it up kicking and screaming. I try to take it back

soon after I give it up.

In this season, I’ve had to surrender some things like my five year plan. I mean, it got thrown far out the window.

My word for this year was expectation. Within that word, I couldn’t really expect God to move while still holding on to my plans.

I tried though.

Oh I tried.

This year started out with me struggling to understand why certain things happened and what the purpose was of moving forward if

it wasn’t going get me to where I wanted to be. I held onto some dreams like a drowning person would clutch a lifeboat. It wasn’t

until I gave myself permission to ask the questions-Is God good? Does he have good plans in store for me?-that I really started to let

go of things. It was kinda a forced surrender because it needed to happen and life was picking up speed.

I let go of my ambitions to return to floor nursing.

I let go of my ambitions to live overseas long-term.

And many more ambitions.

I surrendered them knowing they might not happen. I’m learning it’s hard to let go of things graciously but that’s what I’m striving to do.

Albeit, it kind of helped that so many ambitions were ripped from my hands, so I had few options but to let go.

It’s taken 10 months, but I’m finally at the place where I’m not forcing things to happen.

I’m kind of just willing to listen, hands open, to what God has for me next.

A verse that has been ruminating in my mind the last couple of months is Ps. 25:1 which says, “In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.” This

verse just captures the sense of what David was going through. I’m sure he was tempted to fight against God multiple times, but

instead of being antagonist towards God, he says matter-of-factly “In you, I put my trust.”

I’m striving to do that.

I don’t know what your story is, or what is that thing that you can’t seem to quite let go.

Let go.

Simply unwrap your fingers from it.

I don’t know your story, but I know how sweetly God has redeemed and repurposed the dreams and ambitions I let go.

Just tonight one of my girls said, “if it wasn’t for your accident, you wouldn’t be here.”

I was taken aback by her wisdom. She was right. If my life had gone on with my terms-my 5 year plan-I wouldn’t be right here, right now.

I would be missing out on a lot.

I like this version of my life. I like this version of me. I’m going to keep striving to surrender my dreams and ambitions to God graciously.

He truly has a good plan in store for me. It may not look anything like the 5 year plan I had but I think it’s better.

So here I am, striving to surrender graciously in my corner of the world that God has placed me in.