It’s been 3 days since my non-weight bearing status was implemented, and I hate it.
I feel stuck. I know I need to rest and heal but I don’t like being still. But, I’m constantly reminded that doing hard things is how we grow. I guess I could choose to wallow in my pity party or I can use this time to better myself.
Maybe I can use this time to read books that I never had time to? I have been blessed with a clinical opportunity that doesn’t need me to be on my feet so I can focus on that. God works in mysterious ways.
I was reminded of a verse recently.
“I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come? My help comes from Yahweh, who made heaven and earth.” Psalms 121: 1-2
This reminds me that God is in control. He isn’t surprised by anything rather He can use everything for His glory. I have to keep giving the future and possible surgery repeatedly up to God. I am not being stupid, rather I am following the Doctors orders to a T, but I still have this thought in the back of my head-what could surgery mean for my life?
These anxious thoughts keep me from doing things fearful that I’ll make my leg worse. If I let these thoughts reign in my brain then I will dig myself into a hole and never come out. I constantly have to remind myself that if surgery happens, life will still be okay. I have a tremendous support system and family that have been with me through worse. And we came out of that stronger for it. Actually, I was able to get up the stairs by using the techniques that I learned after my car accident and we found a tub bench etc in my parents basement that are useful to me now. Life comes full circle but I’m older and wiser now. I’m a rehab nurse, but it’s a lot easier to be the nurse as opposed to the patient. Anyways, here I am making the best of a hard situation and trying to learn what God wants me to now. By the way, I can’t help but think about flamingo when I stand. Maybe I’ll bring the flamingo look to the cool side. Oh who am I kidding, I don’t want to be one of the cool kids.
Fearless at Heart 