Tag: God

Bravely Living with Expectation

Posted on by fearlessatheart

Expectation.

That is the word I chose to define my attitude about this year.

Healing. Adulting. Moving.

As I approach the newest transition in my life, it is getting harder to face things with expectation in the face of seemingly stormy and unknown skies. I have no idea what God has in store for this year. Being brave isn’t always easy, pleasant or fun, but often it’s necessary. Being brave goes hand in hand with expectation. I can expect God to do a lot this year, but not move at all-not take any brave steps towards my future. It tries my patience and challenges my soul to trust. Living with expectation challenges me to look at seemingly negative things as part of God’s plan.

A dear friend reminded me that it is time for hard and scary and holy things. Her words wrapped up all of my feelings about the next couple months. Hard. Scary. But still holy.

They will not be easy because God is asking for trust, patience, bravery, and growth as I lay my plans down, believing that He has got them.

Being brave comes not from being alone, but from having people around me saying, “You have got what it takes to be brave”.

Being brave means having hard conversations, but knowing that the communication will deepen my friendships.

Being brave shows up when I love someone through the messiness of life, knowing I can’t do anything but listen.

Being brave sprouts out of the desire to accept the love I deserve from the God who shamelessly purses my heart.

Being brave appears as I share bits of my story with people, striving to be known as a fearless Child of God.

In my striving to be brave, I succeeded graciously, and I failed miserably.

Sometimes, bravery looks like admitting that I was wrong and acknowledging that I have areas that need broken down and built anew.

Being brave means being willing to tear down the walls of fear, shame, guilt, and insecurity slowly shattering the hold they have. Only then can God build up walls of courage, grace, love, and confidence redeeming the broken aspects of my soul.

Being brave means acknowledging that there are many answers I will not have right now about my future, but trusting that God will reveal the next right step as I move forward in obedience.

Being brave starts as a choice each and every day-as I seek to more like the One who calmed the troubled waters in the middle of stormy seas.

Being brave means living with an expectation of the adventures Jesus is going to take me on as I bravely hand him all my desires and wants.

Waiting

Posted on by fearlessatheart

Waiting.

This simple word causes many people to wince because it is associated with hard times. It is often associated with moments of disappointment or things that we want but can’t have yet.

Waiting.

There is an art of living life fully while trusting that God has a plan for you. Patience is not a virtue that I possess in any capacity. I do not like to wait for things in life, especially when I know that it is something good and worthwhile.

Remember when you were a child, waiting for Christmas day. Remember the expectations and excitement as you lay in bed thinking about the presents under the tree.

The shapes.

The noises.

The surprises.

Remember how you jumped out of bed and ran downstairs on Christmas morning because the awaited time had come.

That feeling is one of the most exciting and frustrating feelings to have.

Expectations.

Excitement.

Waiting.

Waiting for God, the Creator who breathed stars into existence, to reveal aspects of his magnificent plan.

Waiting for that next right step to take in a situation that is sticky and messy.

Waiting for that wonderful man to ride in on his white horse, or possibly a turtle, depending on how long he takes.

Waiting for those dreams, those deep, heartfelt passions, to begin to unfold in a beautiful and holy way.

As a result of this waiting, we spend a lot of time praying to God because we desire to live life completely and utterly in His will.

I was recently challenged to use this time of waiting to prepare. The first thought I had was, “Prepare for what?” I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing with this time, so how am I supposed to be prepared.

Sometimes, it feels like I am blindly preparing for a future that could go in any direction. How can I be prepared for every possible situations? What can I do in my season of waiting to keep myself from going incredibly crazy balancing the excitement of knowing?

Waiting does not mean that I am useless or stuck, it simply means that I am waiting. I can still move to further God’s kingdom in the moment. Sarah Bessey writes, “It’s a scary thing, a life-changing, paradigm-shifting thing, to honestly ask yourself this question: Am I moving with God to rescue, restore, and redeem humanity? Or am I clinging fast, eyes closed, teeth clenched, to an imperfect world’s habits and cultural customs, in full knowledge of injustice or imperfections, living at odds with God’s dream for his daughters and sons?”

Sometimes, I get so caught up in the frustration of hearing “Wait” from God that I forget to act. I forget to continue to play my part in the story God is writing for humanity. I am a small blip on in the story, but, as I wait, I should not forget where I am.

As I wait for my brain to heal, there are things I need to be doing to help make that happen. In the same way, as I wait for God to move in my life, I need to be continually seeking His will, and loving others as God loves me. Sometimes, I need to take that leap and take steps toward where God is leading as I wait for Him to reveal Himself step by step.

As I continue to wait on God, I desire to use this time to grow into the woman He is molding me into.

Waiting with Expectation

Posted on by fearlessatheart

Expectation. That is the word I picked to define my year.

Expectation (n.) a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

This year, I’m expecting to make tons of progress in my healing. I’m not even halfway through the season that the most healing will occur. This year, I have a lot of things I hope to see improve. I’m waiting on God to move drastically in my life. He has done amazing things in my life this past year. I’m waiting with expectation for Him. There’s a lot of unknown in my future but it’s kind of exciting because God is changing my dreams. I never thought I would consider rehab nursing, but it would be a good mix of my desire for nursing and my experience with my TBI.

Expectation goes hand in hand with the word I choose a couple of years ago.

Audacious.

I am not audacious. I lack courage. I shrink from things that God calls me to because I fear failure.

This year, I am turning over a new leaf. I choose to be recklessly brave in the pursuit of a living, loving, saving, sustaining, almighty God who shapes my heart.

I desire to be bold; sharing the gospel from my backyard to the ends of the earth.

I aspire to be gutsy; challenging myself to do things that make me uncomfortable.

I strive to be brave; living life with everything that I have.

I desire to wait with expectation for God to move while being audacious and stepping out of my comfort zone. This is the year I will be stronger, braver, kinder and unstoppable. This year I will be fierce in my expectations of a living, loving God who hold my heart in His hands.

Trusting in the One Who Holds My Heart.

Posted on by fearlessatheart

Trust and Faith. These words radiate through my journal entries over the past couple of weeks. This past year has been a journey of learning to hold my dreams loosely as I hold tightly to the One who first instilled the dreams in my soul.

Almost 12 years ago, I left the country that I considered home. I moved across the world to a country that should be home, but felt hollow. I left my heart behind.

Confused, I wrestled with accepting this new change. How could I be more comfortable in a foreign country than the country of my birth? Moving “home” should have been exciting, but I felt numb.

Confusion. Excitement. Frustration. Betrayal.

These emotions clouded my vision of America, and encouraged my desire to travel the world. Somehow, I felt that if I travelled, I would find that piece of my heart that I had left behind and I would be whole again.

Approximately 5 years ago, as I started on my college adventure, I made it my goal to graduate and leave the country for the great beyonds. I desired to move somewhere I would be interacting with people of different cultures and backgrounds.

I chose my major and minor with the intent that going overseas was my only goal.

These past couple weeks as I began to think about my future and the reality of my dreams, I realized that my dreams had changed slightly.

I had fallen more and more in love with the idea of going overseas and changing the world, but God convicted me.

Why?

Why did I desire to go overseas? Was it because I was trusting God’s plan for my life, or was it because I was more comfortable with dirt floors and no electricity?

If I truly analyzed my motives, I would find that my reasons were selfish.

In my heart, deep, deep down, I believed that if I was not going to fit in anywhere, it would be easier to live in a different culture because then my differences would be as obvious as skin color.

Selfish reasons regardless of the fact that the outcome was others-focused. Something was changing within me. There are no words to convey how profoundly and deeply God touched my heart as I began to realize this truth.

Why?

As I searched for the answer to this question in my heart, God continued to remind me of the beautiful aspects of life where I am.

>>The beautiful Ohio sunsets.

>>The rain as it falls on a spring afternoon.

>>The vibrant colors as fall creeps in.

>>The sound of my siblings aughing down the hall.

>>The thud of books I breathe a sigh of relief after work

>>The companionship of friends

What if by dreaming big, I am putting God in a box? What if I am narrowing my view of God and life to only being happy in the mission field? What if God is asking me open my mind to different chapters in my life, not all of which includes overseas missions?

Four years ago, possibly even last year, that thought would have stunned me. I would not have considered any aspect of life but the one that took me far away to unknown people groups. Now, I am learning that my limited view of God and his plan for my life caused me to miss out on some pretty great things about life in America. I was so focused on going “home” that I lost track of the fact that America is also my home. Ten years later, God takes the emotions that used to cloud my vision of America transforming them with the grace radiating from the center of who He is.

Excitement. Joy. Gratitude. Serenity.

God transformed my view of both him and the world as I began to be content where He has placed me.

Throughout the past year, my view of God grew as He continued to burst out of every box that I attempted to put Him in. Looking back, I should not expect less from a living, loving, saving, sustaining, almighty God who shapes my heart. He placed these desires in my heart for a specific reason, but it may not look exactly as I desire it to.

As I consider the idea that God is challenging me to step out of my comfort zone and live in America now.

He places a new call in my heart.

I will follow you.

Where you go, I’ll go.

Where you stay, I’ll stay.

If this life I lose, I will follow you.

I will follow you.

God is present here, just as much as in Haiti or Nigeria. Therefore, my call is to follow God as he moves in my heart and in the lives of those around me.

A year from now, I do not know where I will be. Maybe I will be in Africa, South America, Montana, or Ohio.

I do not know where I am leading but I am realizing that God comes first.

Not my plans. Not my dreams. Not my desires.

Rather by letting go of these dreams, it frees up a hand which fits perfectly into the hand of the One who consistently show us how big He truly is.

Simply follow God first. Everything else falls into place.

In the words of Sarah Bessey, “And this is where I learned that sometimes our most holy mountain-moving faith looks more like spending our whole lives making that mountain move, rock by rock, pebble by pebble, unsexy day after daily day, casting the mountain to the sea stone by stone rather than watching a mountain suddenly rise up and cast itself.”

Sometimes, the biggest blessings come not from restricting God to a specific dream, but by letting go of those dreams to hold on to the hand of the Creator of the Universe.

18 Things I Desire for 2018

Posted on by fearlessatheart

A new year brings a new beginning and a fresh start. As this New Year begins, I am starting to think about what I want for this New Year. What do I want this year to be about? As I prayed about what I want for this year, two words came to mind: Fearless and Expectation. These words have played a part in my journey during this past year, and I believe they have a role to play in the year coming up. I made a list of things that I desire for the year ahead as I incorporate these words into my life. I am not talking about New Year’s Resolutions, we tend to think that we will not complete our resolutions. They are normally just stated to help us feel good about our plans for the New Year. The idea behind what I want out of this year is growth and adventure. I want these items to contribute to how I interact with others and God.

Cross at least one item off of my bucket list

Life is meant for good friends and great adventures. The adventures of this new year comes from taking chances, stepping out of my comfort zone. In the spirit of being brave, I desire to take new adventures and check things off of my bucket list. Sometimes you have to allow yourself to pursue the things that you want, even if it just to say you did

Make new friends and deepen friendships.

2017 overflowed with new friendships, and I want 2018 to expand those relationships and make new friends throughout my adventures. Charles Swindoll writes, “I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun”. I do not know where I would be without the amazing friends I have and the ones I made this year. There is a moment when you meet someone and something clicks. You become friends, and they impact your life in ways you never thought of. This year I strive to be more vulnerable with the friends in my life. Inviting the people I love into my heart and life.

Be brave and expectant.

This appears general, but this word brave has been a theme for this year, and I want to continue to strive to step out in faith, being brave in the life God has given me. Brave (adj.) is defined as ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage. This is who I want to be. I want to be a brave and audacious woman who embraces life regardless of any fear. This does not mean I will never fear hard situations or trials, but I will approach the situation with courage and grace.This is a year of recovery and new things. I’m expecting that God will do great things this next year.

Embrace the life of freedom I have been given.

As a child of God, I have been given freedom. I am no longer a slave to fear, perfection, and insecurity. I can embrace life with an attitude of freedom because Christ had given me life. Freedom from fear and insecurity is something that I have been wrestling with over the past year. This year, I am choosing to live in that freedom and embrace the Creator of the Universe.

Learn to make each moment, good or bad, count.

The thing about living a brave and free life is that I want to make every moment count. I do not want to look back on this year and regret the past moments and missed opportunities. I desire to look back on my year and say, “Wow. What a year!” because of the relationships I made and the moments that I allowed myself to live, I mean, truly live. I want to live life to the fullest, as I take step out of my shadow and be brave with my decisions.

Be intentional with the people in my life.

As I am intentional with my conversations, I can invest in people’s lives. At the end of the day, accomplishments are amazing, and material possessions are nice, but relationships are the only things that we can take with us to Heaven. People matter.

Spend more time discovering who God is.

This new year is a new opportunity to spend time discovering the Creator of the Universe and me. My relationship with God is the most important relationship in my life. I desire to spend more time intentionally getting to know God and allowing him to love me. To love the places in my heart where my deepest insecurities and hopes lie. Beth Moore writes, “May God remind us daily—no matter what kind of obstacles we face—that we are loved and empowered by the One who brought the universe into existence with the mere sound of His voice. Nothing is impossible for Him”. As I get to know God and delve into His word, He continues to love and empower me. He pushes me out of my comfort zone into places that I never thought about, but that are so incredibly better than I could have planned.

Figure out what makes me tick, what I feel passionate about and delve further into it.

As I bravely and vulnerably surrender my time to Lord, He begins to show me glimpses of the woman he created me to be. I bravely try new things, develop new habits as I discover new interests. As I celebrate my twenties, I desire to use my time this year to discover new passions and bravely explore the place these passions interact with my life. Whether it is volunteering at a free clinic, helping with an afterschool program, or raising money for a cause halfway across the world, I desire for this year to be a defining year of me interacting with the lesser known passions and desires in my heart.

Cry unashamedly.

Crying signifies vulnerability, and I hate being vulnerable, truly vulnerable. This year, as I bravely become more vulnerable with the people around me, I give myself the freedom to cry. Not emotionally crying all the time, but to cry when I need to cry without being ashamed of tears. Sometimes, being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall.

Worry less about what people think.

I have tendency to be reserved and cautious because I am afraid of what others think of me. I selfishly think that they care about every little thing I do. The reality is that as I live in freedom I shake off the perceptions of other and the expectations I place on myself. The only expectations that matter are God’s.

Do one random act of kindness each month.

Kindness puts a smile on others faces. It is as simple as that.

Complain less.

Complaining is being ungrateful for what God has given me, as well as it can drive people away. It can taint the personality. I do not want to be known for complaining about things that I cannot do anything about.

Step out of my comfort zone.

This is one of the biggest things that I want to focus on changing about my life. I find that some of the most rewarding moments of my life happen when I step over that line into areas where I am unsure. I have to rely totally on God, and guess what? He always comes through with a life-changing experiences as I learn more about myself and my abilities with God by my side. We walk hand in hand as he guides me through life.

Continue to dream big.

This new year is a big year, I have dreams about travelling, and the perfect job. The idea is that these dreams are held loosely, but I still need to dream. I still need to allow myself to dream of the impossible, because my God is big enough to do anything. I should not put him in a box as I try to tell him the path I should go on.

Embrace and enjoy the little things of life

The small moments matter. The smiles. The breezes. The quiet. These little moments like holding hands, reading a book for fun, the reassurance that I am heading on the right path. These moments are not flashy moments, but rather they creep up into your life. You can miss the significance of the moments, if you are not paying attention.

Accept myself.

I am pretty, smart, awkward, quirky, organized, vivacious, entertaining, outspoken, and introverted. I am fiercely loyal to my friends. I have an obsession with colored pens and planners. I love reading. I am learning to accept myself exactly as God created me quirks and all.

Read 25 books.

This is my goal for this year-to fill my head with knowledge of the world around me. Books allow me to escape to a different place and time. They fill my head with information about life and the pursuit of happiness.

Learn a new recipe a week

I started loving to cook when I lived by myself, out of necessity. Now, I desire to develop that skill.

Brainaversary

Posted on by fearlessatheart

In 8 days, it will be a year. December 17, 2016, my life changed. In a moment, life can change drastically. I almost died. I should have died, but I didn’t. I’m alive. That’s a great thing. I wake up every morning and take a deep breath because often we take being alive for granted.

I have a lot of emotions coursing through my body: grief because of what life could have been, happiness because I’m alive and fear because I’m unsure about what’s next.

This is a weird anniversary to celebrate. It’s a day that I don’t really want to remember. This year has truly been bittersweet- to the very essence of the word. There have been times I don’t want to remember-bitter and hard moments, but there have been some sweet moments. Times, I want to capture in my mind and lock away in my heart.

Here are some of the things, I’ve learned about myself and God though this season.

  1. I am loved

I am deeply loved by God. This has, hands down, been the hardest season of my life thus far, but I see God’s hand in everything. The fact that I’m not dead is a miracle. I choose to see everything, not as coincidence, but as God saying, “You are loved more than you can ever know “.

I am deeply loved by people. When something like this happens, you truly know who your friends are. My family and I have been overwhelmed by the love people have shown us. We ultimately saw the body of Christ working as it was created to work as people from all over the world prayed for me.

2. It’s okay to not be okay.

I don’t have to have everything all together at any given moment. I probably won’t have anything all together, but that’s okay. It’s exhausting to put on a face that’s everything is okay. Sometimes, it is good,but sometimes, I miss my old life. I miss the old me. During those moments, God sits with me in the mess. It’s okay to grieve that, but it’s not okay to wallow in it.

3. Life is bigger than just me

This summer, I went to Seattle with some friends. Looking at the mountains, I realized the bigness of God. That is part of what He is teaching me lately. When I focus on all my problems, they tend to overwhelm me. When I looked at the mountains, I pictured my problems that big and God scooping them up in His hands. My soul was able to breathe because the pressure was off me. God had control. I knew that, but it finally sunk into my soul. My life was just a blimp in the radar of eternity and His plan of redemption. God cares more about my growth than my comfort.

4. I can’t ruin God’s plan

“If you think you’ve blown God’s plan for your life, rest in this. You, my friend, are not that powerful.” Lisa Bevere

This is not how I saw my life going a year ago. This is a detour. I may have gotten off the path of “my plan” because of the car accident, but I feel pretty strongly that this where I’m supposed to be. I have no doubt that the road I was on before my accident was God’s plan. The thing about detours is that they are inconvenient and time consuming, but you still end up at your destination. Life is different now, but I’m still on the road to my destiny.

So in 8 days, I’m celebrating my brainaversary-the day God chose to spare my life. I survived with a new brain so I’m celebrating a year of recovery and a year with the new me.

Thankfulness

Posted on by fearlessatheart

Water and fallen leaves.

One is a life source, and the other is a dying object. The fallen leaves remind us that dying is sometimes beautiful. The combination of the two is striking.

This is the time where autumn is ending and winter is beginning. The days are getting shorter and colder. The days might be hard or getting more difficult, but God is here. Let Him into your suffering. He doesn’t often choose to erase it, but he helps you through it.

This year, I have so much to be thankful for. Probably the biggest things are my life and my health. I almost died last year so I’m thankful for every breath I take. I’m thankful I’m alive, but I wonder “why me?” I don’t know why I survived or why I was chosen to have these TBI repercussions, but I realize that life is not about me. My story points to a God that doesn’t always say no. Sometimes, he says yes—to our prayers, to our hopes and our desires.

We often focus on the “no’s”—the times when he doesn’t answer our prayers the way we desire. We hear, repeatedly, the trite phase “If God shuts a door, he opens a window”. We see broken dreams and unanswered prayers around every block. But, sometimes, God does choose to answer our prayers the way we imagine. Sometimes, God chooses to say “yes”. Let’s cling to those moments.

I’m thankful for the hardships because they allow me to cling closely to the One who creates my dreams.

So this season may be bittersweet, but you’re alive

Seasons 

Posted on by fearlessatheart

Seasons.

Summer turns into autumn.

Fall is a season where the earth is preparing for slumber—for hibernation. It’s never been more beautiful to realize that sometimes we need to be buried in order to grow; we need to enter into a season of barrenness in order to be fruitful later.

We can’t always be in a season of summer-of harvest. That’s the way agriculture works-there is a purpose for every season. It’s the same with our spiritual life. When our soul is in autumn, it’s in a season of preparation. It’s preparing for winter where it looks barren and unfruitful. It prepares for a dry season just before it’s fruitful again. You may not like those seasons-the seasons where God seems far away, but hold fast to the promises given to you in the summer-the fruitful seasons. The promises of the spring to come. 

Sometimes, a season lasts a couple of weeks. Sometimes, it lasts a couple of years. Eventually, the season changes. You rotate through seasons like the earth. Each season lasts for awhile and then comes around again. 

In the seasons were your soul soars and God seems close, tuck the truths God teaches you into the back of your mind so you can pull them out and remember them during the tough times. I feel like I’m coming out of a season of trials. It’s still going to be a long road, but things are looking up. I’m feeling more like myself everyday. I don’t know exactly what season it was. It seemed like a winter season but I knew God was there even if it didn’t feel like it. 

That’s the thing about seasons of the soul. Sometimes, they are clear cut, and sometimes, they seem like one season, but act like another. 

So whatever season your soul is in, remember this: “You are loved. You are loved more than you will ever know by the God of the universe.”

5 Things My TBI Taught Me

Posted on by fearlessatheart

As the anniversary of my accident approaches, my mind is swamped with emotions. Here are a few things I’m learning about myself and God.
1. Life is precious. Embrace every moment.

Almost dying makes you appreciate living so much more. You are thankful for every breathe because you know it only takes a moment for everything to be taken from you. You see everything with new eyes, and you’re thankful for even the mundane things that used to be frustrating.

2. God is ultimately good even if it doesn’t look like it.

God always shows up. He sits with you in the mess and holds you, if you allow Him. The little things that happen are more than just coincidence. It’s not a coincidence that on a particularly hard day, I received a watercolor from a dear friend. It’s not a coincidence that a friend texts me to get coffee after a hard week when I feel like a failure. These are not coincidences. They are God kisses or moments where God whispers “You are more loved than you can ever know. This may not be how you planned your life going, but I’m in control.”

3. Patience is truly a virtue. It’s a hard lesson to learn.

Everything requires patience-my healing, driving and learning a new job. I want to be back to normal NOW. You don’t realize how much you need your brain to function until it’s broken. It literally influences everything you do. I want to do everything, but I can’t. I almost died. I can’t expect to be back to my energetic, sassy self immediately. It will take some time. It takes 2-3 years for a brain to heal. I’m not even 12 months into a 24-36 month period. I have more good days than bad ones, and hopefully soon, I’ll have only good ones. I just have to be patient and give myself grace.

4. I need to give myself permission to be weak.

It’s not beneficial for you to be strong all the time. I need to cry. I need to mourn my old life. I would be lying to myself if I said it wasn’t good, and I don’t want it back at times. Life is different and sometimes harder, but no less amazing. I have opportunities that I would have never had, and becoming close with people I didn’t even know existed. I’m learning the art of saying no. I am the kind of person that values independence, and wants to be seen as strong. There is beauty in allowing yourself to be vulnerable with people. There is strength in allowing yourself space to be weak and not carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.

5. I’m stronger because I’ve survived.

I’ve learned several things about myself in the aftermath of the accident, but the main one is that I’m a survivor. I survived a car accident. Yes, I am going to be dealing with things for the rest of my life, but I survived. I know if something else comes against me, I can deal with it because I survived this thing. Everything else seems minor compared. I’m braver because I know that I can handle anything life throws at me with God at my side.

Daring to Hope 

Posted on by fearlessatheart

As many of you may know, I’m on the launch team for Katie Davis Majors’ new book, Daring to Hope: Finding God’s Goodness in the Broken and the Beautiful, that comes out October 3rd. I loved Kisses from Katie, so when I heard about this opportunity, I jumped on it. I spent the first 12 years of my life as a missionary kid, so Africa is my heart’s home.
This book couldn’t have come at a better time. Almost a year ago, my life changed drastically. I was in a car accident and almost died. Due to a brain injury, my life will never be the same. I wrestled a lot with God about His goodness and will. There are times where I didn’t see much good only hard things. Katie Davis Majors wrestles with many of the same questions swirling around in my brain.
Is God really good? Does He really love us? What do you do when God doesn’t show up in the way that you asked Him to?

These are questions that plague me. 

I wrestle with God, like Jacob with the angel. I pound my fists against His chest, crying “Why me? Why does everyone else’s life seem like they’re falling into place and mine looks like a mess? Why am I suffering, I have been a good person?” When I’m in the pits of despair, I wonder if God sees me. If He sees, how hard I am working. How much courage, just getting through the day, is taking? I grieve for who I was and the dreams I had. I wonder if God is even there.

Oftentimes, in the dry, hard places, when we don’t have a clue what God is doing, or even if He is there, He is drawing us to Himself the way He always intended.

“As I gazed at the rainbow, God whispered to me a deep truth. There is so much beauty to be found in a wound that is healed, in an unlikely friendship that is forged. There is much beauty to be found when the one we have nursed for hours and prayed for many more is healed and restored, or when the child we have faithfully advised and prayed for turns back to the Truth or any other happy ending. But there is also beauty to be found in sitting and praying by the bedside of an ill friend and holding her hand just before she slips away and looks into the face of Jesus. There is beauty to be found in the desperate and many-times-repeated unanswered prayers that have time and again ushered us to His feet. There is beauty to be found in a life poured out in faithfulness and obedience, no matter the circumstance. There is beauty to be found in the unlikely places, but in so many cases, we must be facing the storm to see it. Often, to behold this beauty, to be reminded of God’s promises in such a tangible way, we must turn toward, not away from, the darkness.” Katie Davis Majors  

This book has wrecked my ideas of God and brokenness. Sometimes, God chooses not to answer our prayers the way we want. It’s hard to trust God. It’s even harder to trust in His perfect timing. We often want what we want right now.

Often, He meets us in our mess and even in our doubts and says wait. It takes a lot of bravery to hope that God will say yes, but He might say no. It’s okay to be broken. This world is messy. Tragedy happens, unspeakable things occur, hearts break, but God’s not done with us yet.

 “He uses the bending and the breaking and the dying to prepare the harvest, to prepare more for us. We reach high to the Son and He comes down and pulls us closer. We lift our heads to Him in awe and we know that there might be hard the corner but we can look expectantly even to the bowing and the breaking, even the death of all we have planned, because we know in Him there will always be more” Katie Davis Majors 

So we dare to hope because God has shown His faithfulness. We see God’s provision. He hears our cries. He weeps for us and our suffering. He walks beside us in the midst of hardships. We dare to hope because He is still on the throne.